My New Years Resolutions:
- Do more yoga
- Be unapologetically myself
- Eat healthier
- Stop buying so much stuff
- Meditate more often
- Stop feeling guilty for enjoying sex
Gross and sick
Me and my milk & honey….I hating feeling sick…
Performed at an Open Mic thing tonight. AVERA WAS SO FUCKING AMAZING! I don’t think they were feeling my poetry. It’s okay though. I’m not that good anyway. It was fun and I rather enjoyed myself.
In other news, I’m beginning to regret my recent slutty behavior…besides the fact that it was only good with one person and that person happened to be the person that I lost my virginity to, I regret it because the people I’m close to are beginning to see it as a fault in character that I’m having as much sex as I am.
And as I’m writing this, I’m thinking that it’s my right to do what I want with my body. I’m not being irresponsible and most of the time, I’ve been in a relationship with the people I fuck or I’m “dating” them.
And why the fuck do I care what anyone else thinks? Right?
But then again, when I complain that I can never find anyone who wants to be with me in more than that way, everyone’s like “well, maybe you should stop having sex with everybody.”
And who am I to complain, right?
I know I’m boring as fuck and I know that I’m not the prettiest girl in the world.
And now that I think about it, I want to stop having casual sex.
Why?
Because it’s either with people I’m settling for or people who I know don’t really want anything to do with me.
I’m an idiot.
And now I don’t even feel like I deserve to ask this guy out who I’ve been crushing on for forever and FUCK!
My life is shit right now…
I look fucking cute going to work today. :)
Getting a new bed…I’m going to have to basically sweep everything off my desk into a garbage bag and box up all my books because it will get here while I’m in DR. So, my parents are going to set up everything then so they won’t have to do it right before Christmas. Ugh…I don’t wanna…
You know what’s dumb? Getting asked to beers and being underage. You know what else is dumb? Getting asked out by a guy you’ve met once and would date if only he were younger. And you know what else? I’m over liking people. What’s the point? No one I’m attracted to is attracted to me.
In other news, I mastered waist-to-lasso/reversed today. And got farther on a climbing problem I’d been working on. So, overall, a good day.
I had a dream that Jess and Nick from New Girl were my parents (believable part) and that I was dating a drug dealer (also believable) who wouldn’t have sex with me (believable) and Mom and Dad were sitting in the kitchen when I came out of my room and asked if we’d fucked yet (not believable), and I was like “No, the asshole’s asleep.”
Cute Boy was at the gym again tonight. He watched me fight for this one problem and came to the same conclusion that “splatter paint” is just shit. I wanna ask him out, but I don’t know. Last time I did that (when I asked Adam out), I got flat out rejected. There was no misinterpretation or anything.
However, I bet the guys that whoever was the first to send the dyno problem on the back wall would get dinner (either made or paid for) by me. Cute Boy’s been trying real hard to send it…
Oh, and my friends think that my grade school crush is gorgeous and that I should hit that…HOWEVER, I know for a fact that he’s not into me, so why da fuck would I even put myself through that misery? Yall dumb.
EITHER WAY! I really wanna make someone dinner
Had a good time tonight. Hookah with Cat and Brad. Then standing in a parking lot with the guys. No one would go with me to get food, so they suck. OOOOO! And I’m going to be a hoop dancer. it shall be awesome…I might invite Bails to come too. She’d really get a kick out of it.
Two Things:
- There was a cute guy at the gym today
- My new sweatpants are deliciously comfortable
I don’t understand this whole “peasants” shit. It’s saying that someone is beneath you, inferior to you. And no matter what your opinions are or what circle you run in, those who disagree or don’t ascribe to the roles you ascribe to are not in any way inferior to you. You don’t know their life. You don’t know them at all. So, shut the fuck up about this “peasants” shit.
